if you could change the way things are.
wishes...they never grow old.

Happy belated 18th, buddy!

I need you.
Here's an attestation for this year's anual youth camp. It might not be much but I pray that through this, you will be blessed amazingly, be it whether it emboldens and rallies you to put your faith in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior or even make you smile.

Wait. Stop. And think back to the time, 2 years ago. How God amazingly and singlehandedly (I'm just filling up the adjectives!) opened our eyes and our hearts to understand his will which needs to be done in our lives. With little expectation on what was to transpire, God spoke to me and I listened intently with so much willingness in my life.

It has been my passion to see people at my age, hungry for God and his love. And that I knew was what God has called me to do. To put my spiritual gifts into action in one of the many ministries there are in church. I served him with commitment that I can never seem to find in the other organizations I involve myself in, out of church.

2 years have passed. The fire in me, a little dim but yet still there. As if I was holding onto the tip of an iceberg, trying to hold onto God as long as I could. At times, church felt much like a pattern, like a habitual programme we undergo. Few weeks ago, as if it caught me off-guard, thoughts crept into my mind. Doubts started to hover above me.

Is God real? Was God someone I could count on? Maybe the world's just living a lie, thinking that they know God was real...

Wait, I knew he was real. His presence has been so evident in my life, every single day. I knew he was there. But why did my heart hardened? Why did I choose to ignore the reality of Him? I ask myself still. My faith in Him was lacking eventhough I knew He was real. I shoved Him off, God wasn't exactly the center piece of my life during that phase.

But I knew I needed to do something. This spur of madness needed to stop. I needed to get back to where I was two years ago. That's where TRANSCEND AYC 2009 came in.

I prayed. That God would reveal Himself to me again. I prayed that this phase was just provisional. That my faith would be UPSIZED. That I would be free from all these thoughts which has left a void in my life which needed to be filled by His love and mercy.

This year's camp has been different. And I got worried, that when I got back, my life would still be the same. On the fourth day, as if it was a miracle, Joyce and I were scheduled to worship lead. I hadn't had much time to work out the songs for that night. Little prayer was involved. But the song 'This Is My Desire' had kept me awake the night before.

To cut a long story short, we sang that song the other night. Much to my amazement, God's presence swept through the hall and left many of the congregation on their knees, lifting their hands and giving their lives to God.

Guilt washed over me. It took me back to the time 2 years ago where I stood on the same spot, worship leading, and divulging to God about how I wanted to see a generation, my generation surrendering their lives to God, putting God first. As if it was a voice in my heart, it questioned me..."has God been real to you now? Your passion to see a generation grow with selfless faith, hungry for him is right before you. What you wanted to see, God has shown you. He is real. I am real."

I wept.

Times when you feel like God isn't there. God isn't listening to you. You're wrong. It's whether you choose to listen to him, whether you choose to open up your heart entirely to let him in. I made a mistake when I chose to take the other path, ignoring the voice of God, allowing thoughts to come by and destroy my faith in the Lord. But I know that things happen for a reason. And it has impacted me all the more to renew my strength and my faith in Him.

You ask me how I know He lives...He lives within my heart.


Camp is just hours away.

I expect a break through in my life this week.

I want to be freed from certain things in certain areas of my life.

I want to transcend to a higher level.

God, be with me and the rest of them in AYC 2009.

See you on the other side peeps! (:


Maybe we're trying.

Trying too hard.

Maybe we're torn apart.

I miss Youth Camp, 2007.

oh, inconsistency.

Much to my disappointment, no. I have not done anything productive this week. The only thing I can think of which so far could've been classified as "productive", mind you - was soaking the overpiled clothes and wringing them, and clearing my very congested room. Lets all not forget that specific part which could've cost me my allergies with all the dust particles floating around in the air.
Other than that, I've been constantly checking up on my Cafe World which is pweedy interesting. And the long hours of television which keeps me from dozing off on the chair. Yeah, that's my holidays for you.
I wish there was more, though. Than sitting and moping around at home. I feel there's more. More to look forward to than just the normal routine we go through everyday which seems so dull at the moment. Oh, the joy.
Anybody for bungee jumping this weekend?!
Moving on...

Annual family reunions are never a bore. They make me happy in one way or another.
It's just the way they are, y'know?!

Something Andrew thought was 'out of this world'

Eulene's being nice. Not asking for money on a non-school night with her friends. Lets not pick on her, shall we?

Though, I think she regretted bringing along such a small amount with us.

We had this picture taken, as proof that males such as Andrew can lose a substantial amount of braincells just by eating out with us, ladies. Just look at his eyes, boring into the nothingness at the opposite side of him.

The very few minutes we took to decide to go where next.
Nicole's bag = Fully functional as a handbag or just an umbrella for shelter when it drizzles.

Well, that leaves me with another boring week.

Till whenever I see you Mae.

Have a jolly good time in France. Peace out X)