if you could change the way things are.
I need you.
Here's an attestation for this year's anual youth camp. It might not be much but I pray that through this, you will be blessed amazingly, be it whether it emboldens and rallies you to put your faith in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior or even make you smile.

Wait. Stop. And think back to the time, 2 years ago. How God amazingly and singlehandedly (I'm just filling up the adjectives!) opened our eyes and our hearts to understand his will which needs to be done in our lives. With little expectation on what was to transpire, God spoke to me and I listened intently with so much willingness in my life.

It has been my passion to see people at my age, hungry for God and his love. And that I knew was what God has called me to do. To put my spiritual gifts into action in one of the many ministries there are in church. I served him with commitment that I can never seem to find in the other organizations I involve myself in, out of church.

2 years have passed. The fire in me, a little dim but yet still there. As if I was holding onto the tip of an iceberg, trying to hold onto God as long as I could. At times, church felt much like a pattern, like a habitual programme we undergo. Few weeks ago, as if it caught me off-guard, thoughts crept into my mind. Doubts started to hover above me.

Is God real? Was God someone I could count on? Maybe the world's just living a lie, thinking that they know God was real...

Wait, I knew he was real. His presence has been so evident in my life, every single day. I knew he was there. But why did my heart hardened? Why did I choose to ignore the reality of Him? I ask myself still. My faith in Him was lacking eventhough I knew He was real. I shoved Him off, God wasn't exactly the center piece of my life during that phase.

But I knew I needed to do something. This spur of madness needed to stop. I needed to get back to where I was two years ago. That's where TRANSCEND AYC 2009 came in.

I prayed. That God would reveal Himself to me again. I prayed that this phase was just provisional. That my faith would be UPSIZED. That I would be free from all these thoughts which has left a void in my life which needed to be filled by His love and mercy.

This year's camp has been different. And I got worried, that when I got back, my life would still be the same. On the fourth day, as if it was a miracle, Joyce and I were scheduled to worship lead. I hadn't had much time to work out the songs for that night. Little prayer was involved. But the song 'This Is My Desire' had kept me awake the night before.

To cut a long story short, we sang that song the other night. Much to my amazement, God's presence swept through the hall and left many of the congregation on their knees, lifting their hands and giving their lives to God.

Guilt washed over me. It took me back to the time 2 years ago where I stood on the same spot, worship leading, and divulging to God about how I wanted to see a generation, my generation surrendering their lives to God, putting God first. As if it was a voice in my heart, it questioned me..."has God been real to you now? Your passion to see a generation grow with selfless faith, hungry for him is right before you. What you wanted to see, God has shown you. He is real. I am real."

I wept.

Times when you feel like God isn't there. God isn't listening to you. You're wrong. It's whether you choose to listen to him, whether you choose to open up your heart entirely to let him in. I made a mistake when I chose to take the other path, ignoring the voice of God, allowing thoughts to come by and destroy my faith in the Lord. But I know that things happen for a reason. And it has impacted me all the more to renew my strength and my faith in Him.

You ask me how I know He lives...He lives within my heart.